Not Your Mother’s Menopause
Ladies, I did my time. Like many of you, I went through multiple pregnancies where my body wasn’t my own and rode out hormonal rollercoasters that would make grown men weep (probably not the best example with man colds and all — but you catch my drift) It was, at times, hell. The sciatica, soaking wet sheets around the six-week postpartum mark, which could also just have been tears, the chapped nipples, the obliteration of core muscles, the mood swings with weaning, the corrected episiotomy (oh that was a goodie) — it goes on and on and on. But then it’s supposed to go off and we are supposed to get our bodies back.
We will thrive again and if we exercise, eat right, and consume some calcium — we’ll be good and maybe start dealing with some changes in 10-15 years. But we got some peaceful times with the body ahead. We deserve them! I regret to inform you that this is not always the case and I feel it my duty to explain why. Enter the biatch that is perimenopause.
The Basics
You probably know that menopause is a natural process that occurs when a woman's ovaries stop producing eggs and the production of female hormones (estrogen and progesterone) declines. You may not know that once you are in menopause, the hard part is actually over. Natural menopause likes to take its sweet time, developing gradually over years. This transition time is the perimenopause where periods can become irregular and other not so fun symptoms emerge.
Do The Math
The average woman hits menopause at 51. Perimenopause usually begins anywhere between 8-10 years before menopause and can be as early as your late 30s. When I first started looking into this, I did not like the math. I knew I hated math! Because at 42, I could very well be perimenopausal. On the early side, but a real possibility and one that felt pretty likely as I’ve noticed some fun things in the last year like relentless night sweats at certain times of the month, brain fog that made me think I had early onset dementia, achy joints, heavier periods and fatigue like I’ve never felt before. Needless to say, it’s very rude. Especially as a late-stage breast feeder, I was dealing with those hormones like a minute ago. This is some bullshit, but as our estrogen and progesterone declines, perimenopause symptoms show up. They can last months or YEARS. This is not a drill. The fun includes:
Irregular periods or skipping periods.
Periods that are heavier or lighter than usual.
Hot flashes (a sudden feeling of warmth that spreads across your body).
Night Sweats
Vaginal dryness and discomfort during sex.
Urinary urgency (needing to urinate more frequently).
Sleep problems (insomnia).
Brain fog.
Heart Palpitations
Tingling in the extremities
Changes in mood like irritability, depression or mood swings.
Ringing in the ears.
Good times! It’s worth noting that many of these symptoms are also symptoms for depression and anxiety, so this can often further complicate figuring out what you’re dealing with and treatment.
Your Brain on Perimenopause
The other thing that rocked my world (and also validated how I had been feeling) was the fact that our brains are literally changing the most in the perimenopausal phase. That’s because menopause is also a neurological change, as shown by many hallmark symptoms of menopause, especially forgetfulness, sleep disturbances, altered mood, and hot flashes. Ovarian and brain health are therefore inextricably linked in women. Check this graphic from the Wall Street Journal out.
Notice the most change is from premenopausal to perimenopause (likely your early 40s)
The Good News
Menopause and perimenopause are having a moment. Oprah shared her experience with perimenopause this year in a special series. Businesses are starting to see the dollar signs. Evernow, a telehealth company focused on providing services for perimenopause and menopause, banked $28.5 million in series A funding with backing from notable angel investors Gwyneth Paltrow, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz. We are seeing menopause influencers on the Gram and on LinkedIn, senior leaders are posting about brain fog and hot flashes in the office.
The increased exposure can be attributed to a generation of woman embarking on perimenopausal years grew up through motherhood with social media as a guide and support network. It makes sense that we will turn to online resources and social to guide us through this next phase. Much like the mainstream mental health movement, I think we will continue to see a normalization of what used to be a pretty taboo topic. I’m suggesting #notyourmothersmenopause as a hashtag for the movement. I’ll keep thinking when I am up at 3AM to change my sheets.