Improve Your Relationship With Money
Handling money is a lot like raising kids – life-changing, but where's the manual, right? We're all on this nerve-wracking journey, holding onto something precious, armed with only the lessons passed down from our folks. Be it calming a toddler meltdown or figuring out what to do with that annual bonus, we're just doing our best to make the right decisions for our families.
As a financial coach, I witness the intricate relationship between women and money on a daily basis. Between working, cooking meals, driving kids to activities, scheduling appointments AND managing the finances - we’re carrying a significant mental load! At our breaking point, many of us have uttered the profound words, "Ugh, I hate money!" In reality, this is a verbal release of the frustration we feel. Then there is the feeling of anxiety when you watch your money leave right as it’s coming in - hello, paying bills. Oh, and the worry of disappointing our kids when we have to say “no” to something they really want. It can all feel like too much!
Let's unpack three key factors I’ve noticed intensify this frustration:
The Notion that Money Has to be Complicated
I can almost guarantee that if you’ve watched even 10 seconds of personal finance related content on social media, your feed is likely loaded with videos of complex strategies from financial “experts” touting their methods. Whether it's the fancy lingo or the lack of Finance 101, many of us see managing money as a crazy, confusing maze. But guess what? It doesn't have to be!
Understanding money can be as easy as finding the other shoe that your kid sweared they looked “everywhere” for. Moms, we really do have superpowers! There are simple systems and strategies we can implement that help to lighten that mental load and dare I say, have us falling back in “love” with our money.
Stereotypes of How Women Handle Money
Let's talk about these stereotypes that make us roll our eyes harder than our teenage daughters. You know, the ones that portray women as the big spenders? Don’t get me wrong, every relationship has a spender and a saver so there’s a 50% probability that we are the spender. What I’m talking about is the stereotype that we can’t be trusted with money because ALL we do is spend it.
As millennial women running families, we’re typically the ones doing the grocery shopping, going to Target for household supplies, and registering the kids for activities so yes, we are the spenders. We are using money to create and support our family life. It’s time we ditch this stereotype!
If you do think spending could be a problem then keep reading for a practical tip on identifying this habit.
Generational Mindset/Behaviors
Here's a thought – the money mindset we've got? It's not all ours! It's a hand-me-down from generations before us. Some of it's awesome, like Grandma's knack for saving every penny. But admit it, some of it's not so great – like maybe Mom's silence on money matters or Dad’s fear of taking financial risks.
It's time to be a bit more critical of those money thoughts, and determine what’s serving us best or not at all. Let's break free from the old scripts that say we can't talk about money openly or are blocking us from reaching our financial goals. By doing this, we're not just helping ourselves; we're paving the way for our kids to grow up with a healthier, more open mindset about money. Now that’s a win-win!
Empowering Moms in the Money Game
The relationship between us and money is a wild ride – influenced by what society says, the labels it slaps on us, and the money mindset our parents instilled in us.
We're changing the game though, by demystifying money, breaking free from those tired stereotypes, and rewriting the money story for our families. I'm on a mission to make sure every mom out there feels confident, in control, and ready to slay the money game.
I love a good tangible action step so I have to leave you with a few that changed the game for me:
Share the responsibility with your partner - You’re a team and working together benefits both of you in reaching shared goals faster! Life isn’t always a 50/50 split and knowing that the other will take care of the financial tasks when you don’t have capacity is a different level of support!
Gain clarity around your money - Understanding what’s coming in, what’s going out, and how much you can put towards your goals is always the first step.
Develop a money system that works for you - Automation is your friend! I’m talking about set savings transfers, autopay for bills, calendar reminders for updating your budget, etc.
Identify your spending triggers - Keep a purchase journal of the store you shopped at, mood you were in, who you went shopping with, or a deal you took advantage of to identify any patterns. Do you spend more with that one friend or is having the Amazon app on your phone your downfall? Becoming aware of habits is important!
Hire a financial coach - I help with all of this! More importantly I’ll help keep you accountable to your goals, provide additional support, and celebrate your wins with you!
Cheers to breaking down the barriers, embracing the chaos, and making money moves like the fearless moms we are! Handling money should feel like conquering the mess after a playdate – a bit chaotic, but oh-so-rewarding.
Vikki Zacchilli is the owner and financial coach behind Minted Mindset. She spent 12 years in corporate finance until her desire to make a direct impact on others’ lives became too strong to ignore. Through her own debt free journey of paying off $77K in 18 months, Vikki learned the value of personal finance and education on the lives of women and families. Today she coaches clients on reaching their full potential through financial literacy, money mindset, and organization! Vikki obtained her BS in Business Administration from Westfield State University, is a graduate of the Financial Coach Academy and a Boston Business Women member. Her ultimate goal is to have everyone experience the life changing feeling of being empowered with their money! Learn more here or follow her on Instagram. Want a free E-guide containing 5 Tips to Start the Money Transformation Talk with Your Partner? Get it here!