The Midlife Career Crisis
Still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up? Feeling unfulfilled at work? Don’t you dare dive into the job boards, Mama. Career Coach Becca Carnahan says it’s time to look within.
As a mother of two, I have spent many afternoons at playgrounds. With a bag full of water bottles, fruit snacks, and Band-Aids, I typically felt pretty prepared for those trips. However, what I wasn’t prepared for was how often small talk with other moms on the playground could quickly turn into BIG talk.
From behind the swings, other moms and I have covered the full spectrum of topics from postpartum recovery to mental health, relationships to finances. I bet you have too! And for me, when other moms found out that I was a career coach, our BIG talk often turned to this question “What do I want to be when I grow up?”
They have phrased this question in many different ways including “I hate my job, but what else can I do?” or “I want to go back into the paid workforce when all my kids are in school, but who will hire me?” or “I thought I liked my job, but now that I’m getting older I just don’t know what I want anymore…”
If any of these thoughts are running through your mind, please know that you aren’t alone. As kids get older and more independent, many women find that they have more space in their lives to explore career changes and reevaluate their current roles. It can be exciting, but also overwhelming. Please also know that it’s very possible to make a change and there is a structured way to work through all those big thoughts in your head.
Your career sweet spot
I like to start from the beginning with career questions because it’s a very good place to start. That beginning is finding your target role and company. Otherwise, it’s very easy to get sucked into the trap of firing off a dozen resumes after your third cup of coffee and crossing your fingers that something works out. That method may seem productive, but in reality, spending the time to identify your career sweet spot and the jobs that fit within it will be much more effective.
Think of this like a Venn Diagram. Your Career Sweet Spot is the overlap of Your Passions (the things you love), Your Skills (the things you do well), and Your Value Add (who is going to pay you to help them.)
When we break it down like this, and recognize that your passions, skills, and value add are not the same as they were when you were 18 or 22, things start to get much clearer! You’re older and wiser than pre-parenthood you, and that’s awesome. Your life has changed and you have had new experiences, and that’s awesome too. This makes your Venn Diagram richer with more potential options.
Passion problems: try this
Of the three areas of the Career Sweet Spot, the one that moms tend to stumble on the most is Passions. Who has time for passions? It’s a bit of a sad truth that women often find they’ve lost a sense of what they’re passionate about as they emerge from the trenches of raising little kids. I do believe, however, that mothers are incredibly passionate and with a little digging we can uncover what they love and most importantly WHY they love it.
Try this simple exercise. Think about what you enjoy doing with your children, not because they are having fun but because YOU are having fun. Sure, you’re happy when they’re happy and that’s great. But if you’re honest with yourself, there are some activities you enjoy doing with your family more than others.
For example, when my son was in kindergarten he loved nothing more than building with Legos. Specifically, he enjoyed building Lego sets that were complex with lots of pages of directions. This activity was fun for him and I was happy to see him happy. However, given my druthers, I would have ditched the instructions and built a little house without anyone telling me that I had selected the wrong shade of gray block and we needed to go back to step 75.
What does this story tell me about passions? Well, when I asked myself why I liked free building with Legos there were two clear answers. I love to create without boundaries. I love having control over what happens next. The WHY behind what I liked to do pulled out elements of things that I love. Things that I am passionate about that could guide my career choices moving forward.
Someone else may enjoy building Legos with their child because following a specific process is fun and rewarding for them! Or perhaps it could be this is the only time their kiddo will sit still long enough for a conversation and you love deep interpersonal connection.
We can break passions down into thinking about what entertainment you’re drawn to, what stops your scroll on Instagram, or your perfect date night too. I like this “What do you like doing with your kids because you’re having fun?” question as the starting point though. It gets you thinking about this big, scary problem in a different way and identifies passion areas, and often skills, that you could tap into in the next chapter of your career.
Career change is exciting, and intimidating, and nerve-racking all at once. You absolutely can find a new path forward though and I recommend identifying you career sweet spot including those passions as a powerful first step.
Becca Carnahan is a career coach, mom, and owner of Next Chapter Careers, a coaching practice that specializes in helping mid-career parents land fulfilling jobs they love without giving up the flexibility they need. Check out her free Just-Right Job Match quiz over at nextchaptercareers.us.